Le Club des Hommes: Rejection

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is both posting and collaborating on this week's Men's Club/Divas subject. You see originally the Air Marshal was going to do the whole post; but due to a communication breakdown on the part of your Maximum Leader his friend didn't get the topic listing until he had left town on a business trip. The Air Marshal, being a good and thoughtful friend, didn't want to fall down on the job and not post anything, so he sent your Maximum Leader this to post:

How To Avoid Rejection or Deal with Rejection.

First of all, don't avoid rejection. Rejection is proof that you are trying. The only way to avoid rejection is to live a monastic life. Think about it in baseball terms. If you get rejected 2 out of 3 times, you're batting .333 and in the All Star Game. 3 out of 4 times, and you're still above the Mendoza line, and probably not in danger of getting sent to the minors.

Of course, one way to avoid rejection is to be the rejector. We all know people like that. People who freak out when something gets too good for them.

Dealing with Rejection? For guys, I recommend beer. Beer and pornos. For women, I guess it's Haagen Daaz, French Fries, and Chocolate Chip cookie dough. (But that stuff goes right to your thighs and leads to more rejection.) The best way to deal with rejection is with friends. I can't speak to how women deal, but for guys I suggest you get drunk with a bunch of guys and complain about how women suck. Or don't suck enough. Whatever. Just don't whine too much. Complaining is ok. Don't be sniveling about it. And, yes, your friends will make fun of you behind your back. (Or sometimes to your face.) Remember, what goes around comes around.

Your Maximum Leader will agree with the main points here. You've gotta get back on the horse once you've been rejected. This is hard for some. Indeed, your Maximum Leader never dealt with rejection as well or as healthily as did the Smallholder (for example). But the only way to avoid rejection is to never put yourself in a position to date.

As for dealing with rejection... Beer and friends (for guys) is a great therapy. This therapy generally starts with your buddies trying to be sympathetic. Then as the beer flows and time passes the sympathy stage moves into the "women suck" stage. This is when men share their rejection stories and collectively decide to bash the fairer sex. This second stage quickly moves into the third stage of rejection recovery, which is merciless teasing by your buddies. This is when your friends proceed to tell you what a putz you've been for dating whatever her name was. They make jokes out of all the times you ditched them to spend time with her. They mock your displays of tenderness and concern for whoever she was that you were sleeping with (or trying to sleep with). The might even go so far as to act out little vingettes of your (now former) dating life. One of your pals will play you as the obsequious sap and another will play a domineering demanding version of whozit that just dumped you. And the mockery stage is not followed nearly quickly enough by the "We need to get you laid stage." Inevitably this stage ends with a bunch of drunk guys in a stip club exhorting "Missy Mounds" to come and smother you with her 50GG breasts and put you out of your misery...

When you sober up, you're not cured; but the smarting of your spirit is diminished. And after a day or two you start to come around and realize that you aren't all that bad a guy. Once you hit that stage, it is all uphill for you.

For other takes on this subject... Surf on over to the other members of the Men's Club. There are The Wizard, Phin, and Stiggy.

Curious as to what the ladies think? Check out the Divas. There is Sadie, Chrissy, Silk, Kathy, and guest diva, Phoenix.

Carry on.