Why lord? Why?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader hurt himself this morning. He did. Hurt himself really badly. You see, your Maximum Leader was sipping very hot tea when it happened. (Pride of the Port to be precise.) He was sipping this hot tea and was reading this. Then the tea spewed from his throat, through his nose (scalding his delicate nasal membranes) and onto his bare chest. The hot tea and mucus combined to make a sickly paste that got stuck in his chest hair. This required a shower. A long hot shower. A looooonnnggg HOT shower.

Thanks Anna. You're the best.

Carry on.