June 09, 2004

Movie Studio President...

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was entertaining the Villainettes this evening by explaining to them one of his favourite throw-away lines from a comedy film. The film was a Bill Murray/Dan Aykroyd masterpiece Ghostbusters. The line was: "Stop! Listen! Do you smell something?" Your Maximum Leader remembers laughing in the cinema at that one. The humour was lost on Villainette #2, but Villainette #1 (upon reflection) got it and thought it was "Silly funny maybe."

Well... That little dinner-table activity got your Maximum Leader to think what he would do to "Ghostbusters" if he could. CGI. Great special effects. Your Maximum Leader would out-do Lucas. (Lucas... George Lucas... He added all that CGI to the first three movies and re-released them... Remember?)

Yes... When the MWO comes your Maximum Leader will call the Minister of Propaganda to the Villainschloss and order "Ghostbusters" be re-worked to include lots more and much better special effects. Other film projects of the MWO...

Remake Cleopatra. Only instead of Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. It would star Jennifer Love Hewitt and your Maximum Leader. And your Maximum Leader figures a budget of about $1,000,000,000 should be enough to shoot the movie as it was meant to be shot.

An epic based on the life of Sir Francis Dashwood. What!?!?! You've never heard of Sir Francis Dashwood. My... You have been very loosely educated. Your Maximum Leader will help you out. Click through here to read a quick biography. Sir Francis Dashwood figured promenently in your Maximum Leader's senior thesis at college. And Sir Francis has ever since held a special place in your Maximum Leader's small cold heart since then. How can you not like a man described as having the "staying power of a stallion and the impetuosity of a bull?" Really now... Those words could just have well been spoken about your Maximum Leader... But! Yes, a Francis Dashwood movie would definately be in the offing. Can't think of the casting right now. But shall we say the various young women shall be quite delicious.

Your Maximum Leader would like to remake Gigli. Only instead of it taking place in the year 2000 it takes place in 1985. And instead of the Jennifer Lopez being a lesbian, she should be hetero. And instead of Ben Affleck being a sorta slow lowly thug named Larry, he should be a high ranking member of an Italian crime family named Charley. And he should be involved with the Don's daughter, and then start to fall for Jennifer Lopez's character, who should be Polish and not Puerto Rican. And they shouldn't be thrown together on a kidnapping, but they should be thrown together because they are both hit-men. And frankly... The casting should be changed. Your Maximum Leader isn't sure that Lopez and Affleck are right for the roles. You need real actors. Hummm... The more your Maximum Leader thinks about it the more he sees no reason to remake Gigli.

Remake Flash Gordon. Really. the 1980 version sucked. Bad acting. Bad special effects. Bad script. Bad plot. Okay score (and song! "Flash! Aaaaah!") And they had so much character/story material to work with! For the MWO version you have to make some changes. First off, you need a good plot idea. Humm... How about Flash tries to save the universe from the evil Ming the Merciless and get the girl, the lovely Dale Arden. But in the end, Ming kills Flash and weds the lovely Dale Arden. The dialogue and script/story doctoring could be a collaboration between Quentin Tarantino and David Mamet. As far as casting goes... Flash could be Tom Cruise. Dale Arden could be Jennifer Love Hewitt. And your Maximum Leader could be Ming the Merciless.

Those are just a few of the movie projects of the MWO...

Carry on.

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