April 14, 2005

What Is Ye? Ignin't?

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader must ask the people of the great state of Wisconsin (and others around the nation who have spoken out) what the hell is on their minds?

It seems that public outcry and the general consternation of cat lovers everywhere has caused Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle to declare that the proposed law allowing the killing of feral cats to be "going nowhere."

In the linked article a state Senator says that the bill was a distraction from the main tasks at hand in the Wisconsin legislature.

What distraction? Feral cats are a nusance to livestock, poultry, birds, small mammals, and other "real" wild animals. Perhaps there should be a surtax on owning cats, the proceeds of which can be given to farmers who have chickens or other livestock killed by feral cats. Or how about you have PETA come to Wisconsin and trap feral cats and move them to Saskatoon where they will have more space to roam? Or even better, how about feral cat supporters be forced to adopt 10 feral cats and keep them as housepets.

These are FERAL CATS people! Does anyone know what the hell that means? If your Maximum Leader needs to illustrate the point... Imagine you are a cat owner okay... Now, go and look at Snowball V there in the window seat in your front room. Snowball has nice clean fur. His claws are well kept and short. He is healthy (and perhaps a little pudgy). He urinates and defecates in his litter box. And from time to time he likes to leave his sunny seat among the defenbachia plants and come up to you and purr a little bit. Snowball V is a pleasant domesticated cat.

If Snowball V was a feral cat... He wouldn't sit in the window seat. He would tear it to shreds. His fur is matted and coarse with debris from running through underbrush. His claws are razor sharp killing machines. He is a lean mean hunting machine. He craves food all the time. He urinates and defecates anywhere he pleases (it is nature after all). His fecal matter is crawling with nasty intestinal worms and parasites. And from time to time he likes nothing better than to use your leg/arms/face as a sharpening stone for his claws. Indeed, your Maximum Leader has seen beef go through a meat-grinder and come out looking better than you would if stuck in a house with a feral cat.

We're not talking about armed posses roaming the streets of Madison with shotguns looking to take out your prized Siamese here. We're talking about a farmer on his land noticing a cat he's never seen before stalking his chickens and taking action.

Your Maximum Leader realizes that agriculture and farm life posts are normally the domain of the Smallholder, but this actually has him a little put out. The people who are horrified about this feral cat killing law are the same people (generally) who want to minimize the impact of mankind on nature.

What could be more disruptive to nature than introducing a non-native predator species - and then refusing to do anything about it? Really? What? Have you ever heard of the Guam Broadbill? No? Check it out. Why is the Guam Broadbill endangered? Why the Brown Tree Snake of course. And where does the Brown Tree Snake come from? Try Austrailia, the Solomons, and New Guinea.

Feral cats are a real problem. It is time that Wisconsin, and other states for that matter, take reasonable steps to eliminate the problem.

Carry on.

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