Finally! Some Real News...

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was jarred from a semi-somulent state this morning when he thought he heard Matt Lauer on the Today show interviewing someone about Brittney Spears being pregnant. He could hardly believe his ears. Then he went and looked on the internet for additional information. Sure enough, Brit appears to have passed her half her genes on to another life.

Of course, your Maximum Leader was alerted to this possibility by his daily reading of Gordon's site. Earlier in the month Gordon blogged about the rumours of Lil' Brit being with child. Of course that post was followed by another post in which Gordon accused his readers (your Maximum Leader included) of being "poopie-heads" because some of us doubted that Brit is the real deal for questioning her mental capacity. (NB: To go on the record, if your Maximum Leader had to choose one of the many teen-pop "stars" to whom the Villainettes listen as a consort, he thinks he would go for Hillary Duff. And to clarify, the Villainettes do not listen to Brittney Spears at the Villainschloss. But your Maximum Leader has been informed that they have heard Spears' CDs at friend's houses.)

Anyho... Methinks Gordon doth protest too much. Your Maximum Leader has learned (through his chain of informants) that really Kevin Federline is really just a patsy for Gordon - who craves a low-key lifestyle. Gordon is really Brit's baby's daddy!

You heard it here first.

Carry on.