Calling Major Kilgore

Standing there alone
The blog is waiting
Personal life is slow
"Are you sure?"
Sadie is not convinced
But the celibacy watch
Has the evidence
No need to reset
The counter counts on

Waiting impatiently
His readers are anxious
Nothing is posted
Blogger's working
Trying not to whine
Out in the blogosphere
"He's probably on a date
With a big-nosed woman"
But still no posts
The counter counts on

Anyone else miss Kilgore?

Well, I have a confession to make.

It is my fault that he is not posting.

He's working for Sweet Seasons Farm.

I'm getting pretty good at this farming thing. But I hate the business end. I have sold 10 of my 16 sides of beef. But I have only received two deposits. Am I supposed to start calling people again? I hate calling people up and talking business. I'm not an extrovert like the Maximum Leader.

So I decided that I need a shylock.

But, upon reconsideration, perhaps breaking knees is not the ideal way to ensure repeat patronage. What I really need is an accounts receivable clerk.

So I hired Kilgore.

So anyone who misses ol' Kilgore's witty irreverence can blame me.

UPDATE: Upon re-reconsideration, I do need to send a shylock to the Maximum Leader. He definitely needs his knees broken. Or will that get me purged?