Things That Smallholder Thinks Should Go Away (Pale Shadow of Kilgore Edition)

1) When your snot freezes inside your nasal passages and turns into hard little chunks that internally stab your delicate nose tissues.

It was cold this morning when I went out to the barn. NINE degrees. I couldn't even use the tried and true method of keeping your feet warm (standing in a fresh cowpie) because Bonnie appears to have been too cold to take a dump. Perhaps the Big Hominid has ideas about de-constipating a bovine.

2) Star Wars and All Its Evil Permutations.

I hate to break it too you, geeks of the world, but Star Wars sucks. Seriously. The plot is stupid and unbelievable, the dialogue trite, the actors untalented, the science ridiculous, the special effects dated, the romance forced, the philsophy asinine, the alien cultures unoriginal and vaguely racist, the jedis silly.

You only liked it because you saw it when you were ten. Admit it. Any movie half as hackneyed that was released today would languish in obscurity. Think of the atrocity committed against Robert Heinlein. You don't see Dina Meyer or Denise Richards action figures*, now do you?

3) Sadie living in my barn.

She claims that she will have a new blog up soon and will move into the new digs. She had better. We miss her witty, wascally writing. But more importantly, since she started sleeping in the hay loft, the sheep are acting more even more skittish than after a visit from the Maximum Leader.

* But I'd buy the Dina Meyer one.