News Break.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader was thinking last night that he misses the old "news breaks" they used to have on the big networks. You remember the ones, they would drop one commercial from the break and give you a 15-30 second review of the top stories nationally. Now it seems only local news broadcasts do them...

Anyway... Here is a little news break for you all.

Arafat Not Dead.

Jeb not running.

Kerry is running.

Still No hockey. Still no one cares.

The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in.

Film at 11.

Carry on.