November 23, 2004

Musing on Porn Addiction.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader sees that the good Smallholder has declared Nakedvillainy to be "All Ally All The Time." While your Maximum Leader is great and can direct his Leaderly Love to many different lovely minions, he does want to write something about one of Ally's recent posts.

Ally writes about porn addiction in a recent post. Your Maximum Leader is somewhat conflicted on porn actually. He believes it has a general coarsening affect on civil society and contributes to forces that rend apart traditional morals and norms that preserve civilization itself. On the other hand, he believes in personal freedom and free will and the marketplace. Those forces should also be allowed to work to provide porn to those who want it. He generally believes that access to porn should be restrictive, but the nature and type of porn produced should not be limited by government.

Excursus: Your Maximum Leader thinks he blogged once before on how he thought there should be an internet "red light" district. Defined by something like a "dot XXX" extension. Of course, how you define porn is a sticky wicket and likely the subject of a future post all its own...

So what is the purpose of this post you ask? Well, it is to discuss porn addiction of a sort. This is not at all related to any details of Ally's life; as your Maximum Leader doesn't know any to comment upon. But Ally's post caused him to remember a couple whom he knew at one point....

You see, Ally's post was not the first one in which he's heard of a married man preferring to sit at his computer and surf for naked teem nympho sluts than go and nail his good lady wife. Indeed, your Maximum Leader knew a couple who are now divorced where this (porn addiction that is) was a contributing factor to the breakup of the marriage.

In this case, the wife (Jane) while in court declared that her husband (Dick - heh...) was "addicted to porn." Jane declared that Dick would spend hours looking at porn on the internet, reading "dirty magazines," and watching "adult films." She further declared that she thought his love of porn was like committing adultery with thousands of women.

Excursus: And if you are both a devout Christian and a married man fantasizing about having sex with nude hairy pregnant teen nympho sluts you are committing adultery. And just to be even handed about this, if you are both a devout Christian and a married woman fantasizing about having sex with naked sweaty abs-of-steel big-dicked man-sluts you too are committing adultery. And as adulterers you should be put to death. Of course it seems in modern parlance "put to death" which used to mean something fun like stoning or slow eviseration now means "put through the ringer by lawyers who suck the life blood out of you."

So, where was your Maximum Leader... Oh yes... Anecdotally speaking...

Well, Dick (in our Dick and Jane senario) countered that he really had no recourse but to turn to porn. Dick, it seems, had "needs." Dick had twice a day "needs." Or so he said. (And so his "special doctor" said too.) When Dick and Jane were dating, it seemed that once or twice a day wasn't all that outrageous. When Dick and Jane were newlyweds, once or twice a day wasn't an imposition. But about a year into their marriage, daily was too much for Jane. And by the three year mark, Jane was a once or twice a quarter type of gal. Dick had a choice to make, find sex in the arms of another woman; or find sex at the tip of his mouse-clicking finger.

Now if you are female, perhaps all you might need to take the place of your man is your handy Milesian do-it-yourself kit. But men are a little different. They like the visual stimulation that sometimes comes with taking the matter into their own hands.

So, your Maximum Leader asks, is porn addiction in a marriage bad if one party is not satisfying the needs of the other? In the case of the couple your Maximum Leader knew, sex was just one part of the problem. (As is so often the case. One particularly salacious part however...) If a person likes the hormone rush and feeling that is part and parcel of the sexual experience and is used to getting it - then doesn't get it anymore should they be allowed to seek it out in other places within reason?

As your Maximum Leader was typing this, Mrs. Villain came down and started reading over his shoulder. (A practice your Maximum Leader cannot stand actually. He normally minimizes the screen and refuses to talk about what he is typing. But in this case, he let Mrs. Villain read...) She believes that porn, while bad in a larger societal sense, is only damaging to a marriage (and adulterous perhaps) if it becomes a replacement by one party to physical relations which are offered by the second party in a marriage. Your Maximum Leader would have to agree with that too. (And not just because Mrs. Villain said so.)

All in all, perhaps studying "porn addiction" isn't all that bad an idea. Your Maximum Leader supposes that if there are Sex Addictions listed in the DSM, a subset of sex addiction would be porn addiction. Of course the article to which Ally linked makes it sound as though there is a particular slant to the aim of the studies. (Which makes one wonder about the validity of the research before it begins doesn't it?)

So... Where does all of this lead? Nowhere really. Like the end of an Eddie Izzard show, this post is concluding with you the reader minion saying "Humm... Is that it?" to yourself.

Yes. That is all.

Carry on.

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