July 06, 2004

Edwards and Kerry... Perfect together...

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader is being pretty retro, oui? What? You don't recognize the subtle lifting of that old New Jersey Tourism motto from when Tom Keane was governor? New Jersey and you... Perfect together. Well... Let your Maximum Leader just move along then.

So, John Kerry had chosen John Edwards as his running mate. What does this mean?

Well, it means that now there is someone else on the ticket that Teresa can call "cheeky" and "sexy." If John Kerry and Elizabeth Edwards are flying together somewhere and the plane crashes, would Teresa and John Edwards make that love match? They are both filthy rich. So that sort of negates the money motive for Edwards. Hmmm...

Actually, your Maximum Leader is pretty sure that this is an ingenious move by Kerry to force Bush to campaign in the south. Kerry has already been spending money and time in the south. He is trying to put into play states that (except Florida) would not be in play. This is either very crafty, or just a waste of time and resources.

Surely he will get that post-Veep-selection bounce. But will that bounce have staying power? Doubtful. Your Maximum Leader believes that many of the Democratic faithful (who will vote for Kerry anyway) will have some buyers remorse about his selection every time they see the sauave, dashing, and wholly-inexperienced Edwards on the campaign trail. They will sigh whistfully and wish that they had pinned their hopes to that dashing southern senator who made his money by exploiting our out-of-date laws concerning class action and medical malpractice suits. Your Maximum Leader asks you all, what could be more desirable for a Democrat than a sexy class-action lawyer?

(Okay, your Maximum Leader heard you all in the back snickering while calling out a career politicican from Arkansas...)

Your Maximum Leader isn't sure what to make of the whole Kerry/Edwards southern strategery. If the economy continues to improve, and the situation in the middle east improves; all the time and money spent by Kerry/Edwards in the south is a waste. If the economy doesn't continue to improve, and the situation overseas deteriorates, then the time and money spent in the south by the Democrats is a waste because the critical midwestern swing states are going to go Kerry/Edwards anyway.

So, Kerry's southern strategery is a waste.

But that John Edwards is a cheeky, sexy, trial lawyer no matter how you parse it.

Carry on.

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