Headlines.

Greetings, loyal minions. Your Maximum Leader will give you some quick headlines...

Pope goes home from hospital.

North Korea confirms that which we all know.

Abbas does more to move towards peace than Arafat (may he burn) ever did.

Iran says "We're Hell."

Comedians and pundits alike collectively say, "There is a God."

All that and your Maximum Leader reminds you all... Buy your Maximum Leader's stuff. Girls, women, ladies! You would look mighty fine (and be breaking the law in VA Beach) by wearing a Maximum Leader thong in public. Fellas! Adverstise the obvious!

Carry on.