The Big Favor by the Poet Laureate

Yo, Minister o' Proppa-ganda!

I gotta favor to ask yas.

Foist, a preface:

You don't know me from Adam.
I don't know you from Eve.
We bot' know Mike da Maximum Leadah.
I trust Mike's taste in friends.
So I feel free to do sump'n rude and obnoxious.
I'm askin' yas a fayvah.
A big fayvah.
A fayvah dat plays on our mere two degrees a' separation.

You're free ta' say no, because it's two degrees of separation and not one.

But I hope ya' feel guilty if ya' say no.
I hope ya' feel like God will hate 'choo.
Like God will fook widjer cereal in the morning.
Turn it inta' maggots or oithwoims or some udda' "Lost Boys"-meets-"Raiders a' da' Lost Ark" cliché.

And now:
Here it is.
The fayvah.

You know people, from what I understand.
Big people. People who might not have time, but dey've got money.
And connections.
In udder woids, dey got clout.
People wid' political views.
People who can make noise.
People who might be able to contact certain parties in, oh, I dunno... Hollywood.
Or da' media.

I dunno if you been following dis, but dere's massive censorship going on in South Korea right now.
Visit my blog and click the bannah'. Dat'll lead you to a post dat explains everything.
Blogs and sites are bein' censored.
Mosta' dem ain't guilty o' nuttin'.
Dis shouldn't be the sole consoyn of us expat Koreablogguhs.
It should be everybody's business.

Everybody's fookin' business.

So I'm askin' yas to make some noise for our cause.
Lots and lots o' noise.
If you know people, and your people know people, get them ta' make some noise, too.
The Korean government gets a free ride from our press about this nonsense, but Koreans worry about how dey're viewed by da' woild.
Get a buncha' people togeddah to tell Korea:

YO, WE AIN'T PLEASED.

Can you do me dat fayvah?
Can you hit da' right people?
If you can, I'd appreciate it.
And you'd have my dog's gratitude, except my dog's fookin' dead.

Tanks, man. Tanks in advance.

I know you'll do da' right ting. 'Cause you don't want da' Almighty Himself fookin widjer cereal every mornin'.

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