October 31, 2003

evil, evil everywhere

Humm... That must be the first time anyone has complained about any part of the Poet Laureate being too big.

The Maximum Leader takes a moment to abuse his faithful Poet Laureate, as is only right and proper. We relish the abuse and beg for more! It's all in the service of the realm! Our misery is our joy! Our agony is our ecstasy!

For what it's worth, my essay on dog-eating, "Wolfing Down Doggie," rated 52% evil, 48% good. It appears to be my most evil work. My essay "On Gay Marriage" rated 32% evil and 68% good-- which may indicate that Satan is a social conservative if he didn't find enough evil in that piece. My "Sermon on the Mount for Hateful Christians" clocked in at 44% evil, 56% good, a decent balance.

But the source of goodness on your blog radiates unequivocally from the Air Marshal. His "Happy Birthday" message to my brother Sean rated a mere 10% evil, and 90% good. My own birthday message to Sean contains substantially more evil (24%).

The name "BigHominid" rates 50% evil, 50% good. The name "Kevin Kim," however, rates 74% evil, and 26% good.

Lastly, my essay on "Right and Wrong" scored 42% evil, 58% good.

UPDATE: BUT WAIT-- THERE'S MORE! My book's title, Scary Spasms in Hairy Chasms: A Panoply of Paeans to Putrescence and a Cornucopia of Corrosive Coprophilia, is thoroughly evil, having rated a truly malefic 97% evil, 3% good.
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