New Constitution/Bill of Rights

E-mailed to me by a relative. Worth sharing. Attributed without confirmation to State Representative Mitchell Kaye
from GA. I have no clue who actually said/wrote this. But it's funny and I like the point it makes.

The New Constitution

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny,
guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these
truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the
Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights."

ARTICLE I:

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of
wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on
freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave
the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the
world is full of idiots, and probably always will be ... and like the rest
of us you need to simply deal with it.


ARTICLE III:

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver
in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer
to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


ARTICLE IV:

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most
charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we
are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of
professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of
another generation of professional couch potatoes.


ARTICLE V:

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from
the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health
care.

ARTICLE VI:

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap,
rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest
of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.


ARTICLE VII:

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat
or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised
if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still
won't have the right to a big screen color TV, pool tables, weight rooms or
a life of leisure.


ARTICLE VIII:

You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job,
and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of part time jobs, education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX:

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you
have the right to PURSUE happiness --which by the way, is a lot easier if
you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those
of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights,"


ARTICLE X:

This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from. We
welcome you here. English is our language and like the one you left behind,
we also have a culture. Learn it or go back to the country and the living
conditions you were fleeing.