July 27, 2003

First Corporate Target of the MWO!

Greetings loyal minions! Your Maximum Leader is now declaring that, upon the commencement of the MWO, Samsung must be liquidated! Allow your Maximum Leader to bloviate for a moment. As regular readers may remember, your Maximum Leader's compound suffered a lightning strike and loss of internet connection in a storm a few weeks ago. During that same storm, the 28 inch RCA Color TV that had well served the Maximum Leader, Mrs. Villain, and the Villainettes for many years was fryed. Your Maximum Leader witnessed the death of the RCA TV. There was a small arc of electricity from the cable jack in the wall down the length of the coax cable towards the TV. An instant later, the RCA TV was history.

So, your Maximum Leader started looking for new TVs. Now, allow your Maximum Leader to state for the record that when it comes to consumer electronics there are three brands that he regards highly. They are: RCA, Sony, and Kenwood. He regards these three for different reasons. For as long as your Maximum Leader can remember he has had an RCA TV. And since Elvis also had RCA TVs your Maximum Leader has always thought of his TV as a small way "The King" and "The Naked Villain" were connected across space and time. Your Maximum Leader has never purchased a Sony product with which he has not been completely satisfied. And your Maximum Leader's Hi-Fi is a Kenwood system that is still plugging away very well after 15 years... But, I digress...

Your Maximum Leader decided to undertake the conversion of Mrs. Villain from being a regular TV view to a Widescreen HDTV viewer. After much wailing and gnashing of teeth, Mrs. Villain and the Villainettes were convinced that the new TV in the most Villainous Compound would be a Widescreen HDTV. So, your Maximum Leader did research and conferred with knowledgable men and decided that a Samsung 42 inch Widescreen HDTV would both satisfy his TV viewing needs and fit within the amount he had allocated to spend. So, your Maximum Leader went down to his perveyors of electronics and bought one.

Much to his dismay, upon getting the TV to the Villainous Compound and setting it up; there was a very noticeable green stripe on one side of the screen that would not go away. For those of you out there who might be thinking that your Maximum Leader didn't try hard to get rid of the green stripe, allow him to disabuse you of that notion. Your Maximum Leader adjusted the convergence (both manually and automatically), adjusted the RGB levels, and did all of the standard sharpness, contrast, brightness stuff. Nothing would get rid of the green stripe. So, as you might think appropriate, your Maximum Leader went back to the electronics perveyor and requested a new TV.

Three days later, a new TV was brought to the Villainous Compound. It too was installed. It too was adjusted. AND IT TOO HAD A PERSISTENT STRIPE ON THE SCREEN THAT WOULD NOT DIE!!!!! For the sake of full disclosure, your Maximum Leader will admit that the stripe was not green, but yellowish/greenish; and it was considerably smaller than the previous TV's green stripe.

So, your Maximum Leader returned to the electronics perveyor, had the General Manager dragged out and shot, and then discussed calmly (please remember your Maximum Leader is famously even-tempered) his situation with a young, attractive female manager in the customer service department. (Your Maximum Leader couldn't help but let his mind wander and imagine her in a Naked Villainy Camisole or Naked Villainy Thong... But, I digress again.)

Your Maximum Leader was now convinced that ALL SAMSUNG PRODUCTS WERE NOT WORTHY OF BEING USED AS TOILETS!. I am well aware that Samsung is a very well known component maker for other marque's TVs. But who cares! They might make great components, but they make a piece of worthless crap TV. Your Maximum Leader is so peeved at Samsung now that he will decree that when the MWO begins, Samsung will be dissolved and its assets sold off to the highest bidders. The, former, Samsung President (or Senior VP) of Consumer Electronics will be dragged out and shot. The electrical engineers who designed this faulty peice of crap will be drawn and quartered. And all of the assembly line workers who put the TV together will be given 10 lashes each and forced to beg forgivness of the Maximum Leader in front of the gates of the Villainous compound. But, once again, I digress...

So, at the urging of the comely customer service manager, your Maximum Leader was ushered quietly over to the widescreen TVs and encouraged to choose another model. As befits a man of his stature and regal bearing, the customer service manager and the TV Department manager attended to your Maximum Leader's needs. (At least his TV needs.) When all was said and done, there was a new Sony 46 inch Widescreen HDTV on its way to the Villanous Compound.

Allow your Maximum Leader to say - this TV IS THE GREATEST! Your Maximum Leader, Mrs. Villain, and the Villainettes love it. There is no stripe. It was easy to set up. The universal remote that came with it is much easier to use. The picture is great. The sound is fantastic. And your Maximum Leader is wondering why he is blogging now instead of watching a movie. Regardless, your Maximum Leader is very happy. He is looking forward to watching The Simpsons tonight. And he is looking forward to many years of happy TV viewing in the future.

Your Maximum Leader thanks the Sony Corporation for making such great TVs.

Carry on.

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